Harry Potter And The Story That Shaped Me

Currently on Facebook, people are posting about seven books for seven days, highlighting the books that shaped them in some way, without any explanation. In honor of that, my list is as follows:

The Bible, God
The Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
Love Does, Bob Goff
Small Great Things, Jodi Picoult
Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck
Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis

Let's be real for a minute. I had a REALLY hard time picking the last three. I felt like I was dishonoring other books by only picking these seven. A Child Called “It”, Night, The Great Gatsby, The Scarlet Letter, Horton Hears A Who, and all those Alice in Bibleland books. I love reading. I love getting engaged in a book and its characters. I love escaping to another world. Sometimes I think I might get too engaged. I was NOT ok for days after reading My Sister’s Keeper. There was a commercial that had something to do with bone marrow and I would sob as soon as it came on, and when I went to see the movie, I remember walking out and just being so MAD because they completely changed the ending.

But today isn't about My Sister's Keeper. And it's not about my list.
It is, however, about seven of the books that shaped me. Seven of the most important books in my life. Seven books encompassing one story. I was seven when the first book was published. My mom would read each of the books to me after they came out. It was one of my favorite things. Since then, I can't even tell you how many times I have read through the series, but I think this may be the first summer in a long time I haven't. Silly grad school.

The magic of Harry Potter isn't found in an 11-inch stick with the feather of a phoenix at its core. It's not found in an invisibility cloak or a time turner. It's not found in Veritaserum or Amortentia. It's not found in Thestrals, giant spiders or even House Elves.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in friendship. Friendship is a common theme throughout the entire series. Harry, Ron and Hermione show us the value of friendship. They show us that sometimes, friends get angry, sad and lonely. They show us the value of loyalty in friendship, especially through trials. How friends stand up for each other and true friendship is not easily broken. How the best friends share with each other in joy, sadness and everything in between. The trio taught us the value in being open to others and allowing room for other friendships. Stepping aside from just those three, Neville taught us the importance of standing up for what you believe in, even when it means standing up to your friend and getting petrified. Moony, Padfoot and Prongs taught us that friends will do anything to be together (I know, I know, technically Wormtail also illegally made himself an animagus but that is beside the point. I can't get over his betrayal - which is, unfortunately, also sometimes part of friendship). Also, side note. I am NOT endorsing any illegal or malicious activity to be with your friends. Silly and maybe a little mischievous at times, sure! But never illegal or malicious. Hedwig and Dobby taught us the power of loyalty in friendship. That's all I can say about them because I'm still completely broken, after all this time.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in overcoming prejudice. I was actually inspired to write this blog post because of this, and how it is displayed in the fourth book. If you know me much at all, you know I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of inclusion, diversity and loving everyone no matter what. I'm a big fan of treating everyone as a child of God. No matter what their beliefs, no matter where they come from, no matter what their ability is and no matter what they have done. While most of this attitude I have toward people is rooted in the Bible and my faith, I cannot dismiss the lessons I learned from Harry Potter about the importance of unity in diversity. In the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore says, “You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" Sometimes it's hard to see past a person's outward appearance or where they came from to see who they truly are. We are too focused on the fact that they are a giant and that giants have a history of being vicious to notice that, while he is a giant, he wouldn't hurt a fly. He may, however, try and nurse a fly back to life. We are too focused on the fact that she is muggle born to notice her strengths. Dumbledore always tried to see the best in people. He always took those least likely to be noticed and appreciated and allowed them to thrive to their full potential.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in overcoming barriers to succeed. Although it was always a given that love would win over hate throughout the series, it never came easy. 1. The OG escape room: Fluffy, Devil's Snare, keys, a life-sized version of wizard's chess, potions and facing Voldemort for the first time. 2. Ginny stolen and a giant snake, plus murdering Tom Riddle’s diary. 3. Sirius. Helping Sirius escape. Stupid Wormtail. 4. The graveyard and Cedric. 5. The ministry. Sirius. I'm still not ok. 6. Finally fighting horcruxes. Dumbledore. 7. Every. Single. Scene. So many barriers. So much death. So much sadness. All to fight for good. All to see love win. The barriers aren't always an extreme battle or death. More often the barriers are fear and insecurity - the fear of judgment, of being alone or failure and the insecurities surrounding the thought of “I'm not good enough, not strong enough, not powerful enough, not enough.” We all face these barriers in our own lives, every day. Harry Potter shows us that we don't have to be afraid to take risks to succeed. As Christians we can apply this and be like Peter in the Bible and step out of the boat in order to walk on water, because we have faith that Jesus is standing there with us.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in learning. “When in doubt, go to the library.” Hermione is a girl after my own heart. With a fire for learning, she seeks out knowledge and loves books. Without Hermione and her endless knowledge, many of the battles would have been unsuccessful. Book knowledge is not the only type of learning we see. We see the desire to learn the truth. We see the that learning the truth can bring pain, because sometimes the truth distorts the positive way a role model is seen. It can bring pain in knowing you finally have a place to call home, but it’s gone before you can even blink. Knowledge of the truth can bring joy when you find out people loved you. They loved you enough to die for you and you just never knew it. I hope to never stop learning - in my faith, in my knowledge and about myself.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in family. It teaches us that family is not always blood. Family is simply the people who will never leave. Sirius wasn’t family to Harry by blood, but they sure loved each other like they were. Mrs. Weasley embraced Harry as her son and Hermione as her daughter, before they even married into the family. She loved them as if they were her own, took care of them as if they were her own and fought beside them as if they were her own. Harry Potter taught us that family fights for each other, sticks together and takes risks for one another. It shows us how family can hurt us, and friends can become family.

The magic of Harry Potter is found in individuality. Oh Luna. She is one of my favorite characters in the entire series because she doesn’t let anyone tell her who she should be. She is faced with criticism every day, and even known as Loony Luna. She never lets it get to her. She remains loyal and unique. She fights for truth, justice and love without wavering who she is. I desire to be like Luna in this. I have found myself so many times wanting to change who I am to please other people. I have found myself holding back and resisting being who I really am out of fear of judgment and persecution. I desire to be me. Entirely me. God made me this way, with intense emotion, compassion and passion. I desire to embrace that and just be me. I can be weird and I can be awkward but I’m me. Harry potter taught me to embrace the uniqueness in other people and look for their strengths. Dumbledore’s Army was full of people from different strengths, backgrounds and personalities. Each one individual and unique, but each one essential to the purpose and mission.

The magic of Harry Potter ultimately, is found in love. It is found in the realization that the power of love exceeds anything the imagination could come up with. It is found in self love and acceptance. It is found in sacrificial love, loving through the hurt and everlasting love. It is found in the knowledge that ultimately, love conquers evil and nothing can stop it.

Happee birthdae Harry, and happy birthday to JK Rowling, the woman who made the magic alive for me.

As always, love fiercely and love boldly.

We All Have Those Days

It's taken me almost two weeks to write a post I've been planning for a month. Maybe it's because of the vulnerability of it. Maybe it's because I've been busy. Maybe it's because in the midst of going back to school, stepping down from a position and starting a new one, and just the craziness that family and life brings, I haven't put enough effort into my writing. Whatever it is, it's an excuse. I hate excuses. So I'm leaving the excuses behind, getting over my fear of being vulnerable and writing.

"December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy." 1941 was 49 years before I was born, but if we think about it, we all have those days which will live in infamy in our lives.

July 5th is a day which will live in infamy for me.

Let's go back in time to Thursday, July 4th, 2002. I was riding up to my grandparents' house for our normal festivities. My mom was driving, and my brother and dad were either already up there or coming up later. I don't even remember if my sister's were there, but I think some of my cousins were at least. As we were driving, my mom told me that Mama Rose had been diagnosed with lung cancer. She said that on Friday she was going to be going to the doctor for some tests and a treatment plan. I was scared, but honestly not too phased. I knew people died from cancer. But I also knew people are healed from cancer. We got there, played in the water, watched the fireworks over the lake, and started a campfire for smores. My grandma was extra tired that night, so she headed to bed earlier than the rest of us. You can probably see where this is going. My grandpa is not the quietest of men. Bless his heart, he tries. But when you can't hear well, it's hard to be quiet. I woke up at around 3AM to him running up the stairs to my mom and I (my dad and brother had to be back in Hoquiam for something so they weren't there) and frantic, loud whispers. "Connie, Mom is bleeding. You need to call 911." My mom did CPR on my grandma while on the phone with 911, and I went out to meet the paramedics at the end of the driveway, which seemed to take an eternity. Despite all efforts, my Mama Rose died on the morning of July 5, 2002.

Let's fast-forward 14 years. I am 26 years old, in a relationship, and planning to get married. I go to bed on the night of July 4th thinking that I'm worthless. Thinking that nothing I can do is good enough, yet knowing what needs to be done. On the morning of July 5th, I broke up with my boyfriend. I broke up with him because things weren't working. I couldn't have an opinion if it was different than his, I couldn't speak my mind, and I couldn't talk things out instead of just getting argued with, yelled at and hung up on. If you've ever felt like this, you know how hard it is to get out of it. You think that you'll never find anybody because you're not good enough for anybody else. You feel inferior. I will give him credit for not being intentional about this. He always told me he was a better friend than he was a boyfriend. And I believe him. He was looking for Perfection and I couldn't give him that. No one can. To say the least, I felt a lot of things that day. I felt like I didn't know what I was going to do, I felt scared, I felt relieved, and I was searching for light and searching for hope. And then I found it. Just when I was getting ready to leave everything that I loved for this man that I loved, I gave him up because I knew it was right. So I found this job, and I applied for it. Weeks went by, and I got a letter that said they had hired somebody else. I given it to God, but felt in my heart that I was the right person for that job. So it's hard. But it was just God telling me that it wasn't the time. He was telling me that I wasn't ready. I couldn't mentally and physically succeed at that job while still grieving the loss of a relationship.

July 5th, 2002 and July 5th, 2016 are both days that will live in infamy for me. Both of these days represent sadness. Both of these days represent loss. Both of these days I met with grieving and pain. But both of these days also bring me hope. They bring me joy. And they give me a story that will inspire and encourage others.

A lot of people remember the day that they were saved. The exact day. I don't know if I just don't pay enough attention, or if I'm a bad Christian. But, I don't remember a day. I remember events that led up to my salvation. And the day my grandma died is one of them. I have been going to church my entire life. I grew up in what I like to call a Christian-inspired home. We went to church on Easter and Christmas. We had a prayer that we said at dinner time, we had our Bibles, and we had those Alice Bible story books. And I think my brother had some of the boy version of the Bible story books. But we didn't live it all the time. When my brother got into high school, he started to go to youth group and young life. That's where I met Jeremy and April. I love them, and I could not wait to be in high school so that they could be my leaders. But my brother going to youth group and Young Life didn't inspire me to go to church. I would go to church with my friend Sonja, because her dad was the pastor. I would go to church when I went to visit my Grandma Barb. But I did not claim my faith as my own, and I didn't live my faith out. I didn't serve Jesus, and I loved him but I didn't show it. When my grandma died, I realized how short life is. How precious life is. How life can be taken in the blink of an eye, and we are never really prepared. In seventh grade, less than a year after my grandma died, my best friend's mom passed away of cancer. I had spent so much time at her house, that she was like another mom to me. And I loved her like one. As I thought about my grandma's death and my best friend's mom's death, life hit me hard. I realized that with the briefness of life on Earth, I can't live for myself. I needed something to live for. And I can't tell you how many times I had accepted the message when Jan preached it to me, or when Pastor Kent preached it to me, but it was now my own. I needed to start living for Jesus.

God always uses pain for good. After the flood, He gave a rainbow. After the crucifixion, He gave us The Resurrected Christ who promises us Eternal Life. After Mama Rose and Lisa passed away, He brought me into that Eternal Life. After my relationship ended, he gave me more hope, wisdom and direction. It has taken a while. It has been messy, and I was in a bad place for a while. But I wouldn't admit it to most people. I was too proud. Pride is a tricky thing. It's easy to have, and it's not easy to give up.

A year after the death of this relationship, on July 5th, 2017, I felt a flood of emotion. I remembered my grandma, and I remembered where I had hoped to be by that time. I got home from Charlie's, after not staying for fireworks, and started the process of going to bed. I also evaluated my heart. Where was I? How was I doing? It's important to evaluate your heart every now and then. Really, I should evaluate my heart everyday. I should, but I don't always. That night, as I began my evaluation, I realized what God had done in a year. I'm a completely different person. I have more confidence. More confidence in myself, more confidence in my ability, and we're confidence in my worth. I know I am worthy. Jesus died for me. He didn't have to, but He loved me enough to die for me. He thinks that I am worth something. He thinks that I am worth dying for. I have stuck up for myself this year. I have professed my ideas and my beliefs. I have made amazing friends, and also chosen to let some friends go. I realize that the people who really care will make an effort. And, that it's better to have fewer good friends than many acquaintances. I have made decisions for me. This is always hard for me. It goes back to that confidence and worth. But I know that I need to do things that are good for me. It's not out of selfishness, but it's out of self-love. Because I cannot be loved if I don't love myself. And let me tell you, I've learned to love myself better this year. I've learned to care for myself better this year. Just because I've learned it doesn't mean that I've always done it though. But I'm still growing there. I hired a personal trainer, I started to pursue my dream of planning weddings, I began to explore the place that I love the most and spend time with Jesus hiking. I decided to go back to school. I bought a new car. I made a hard decision to leave the kids and families that I love at the childcare to be with Charlie all summer, and make people's dream weddings a reality at my newest position.

Y'all, this last year has been a mess. It's been a Beautiful Mess. They were things that were hard. There were things that were really hard. And there are still things going on in my family and my life that make me want Jesus to come back so badly. But if I've learned anything this year, I know that Jesus created me to be an overcomer. He created me to learn through trials. He created to lean on him. He created me to show me how my story intertwines with His. And he is going to use that story to encourage and inspire others and bring people into His Glory. If I look back at my life, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now without July 5th, 2002 and 2016. I wouldn't have the faith I have. I wouldn't have the strength and confidence I have. So in the Beautiful Mess of hard stuff, I'm thankful for my God who sustains, protects and loves me.

Here's my encouragement to you:

1. Take a risk and do something that makes you happy.
2. Lean in to Jesus. Every. Single. Day.
3. Be you. Be proud of who you are. Don't be ashamed of who God made you to be. Don't be ashamed of your quirks. God gave them all to you. Embrace yourself.
4. "Spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24 is my daily reminder to be encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ, and to shine for Jesus through my life.
5. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt nails this one. Seriously. If you are in a friendship or a relationship where you feel inferior, it is not normal. Love yourself enough to recognize that something needs to change. Love the other person enough to tell them how they make you feel. Talk to someone. I'm always here for you.
6. As always, love fiercely and love boldly.

Thank You, Dr. King

Today, as we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, I encourage you to watch, read or listen to his speeches. Research his impact, his philosophy and his love for God. Reflect back, but look forward. What can you do to stand up for people in the divided country we are living in? What can you do to speak out when you see injustice? What can you do to love all people and fight for all people the way God loves all people? I'm grateful for my church. We talk about, recognize and celebrate diversity. My pastor encourages us to look at the value of a person's soul. And to love them. Yesterday he talked about Dr. King's legacy and encouraged us to fight for all people (because God loves all people) and we should be standing up against hatred. He reminded us that we, as the Church have the most power to heal the hatred.

Dr. King also talked about the church in Letter From Birmingham Jail:

I hope the church as a whole will meet the challenge of this decisive hour. But even if the church does not come to
the aid of justice, I have no despair about the future.

Here is that letter, along with ten of his other speeches. This is another link, with a couple more speeches not in the first link. They are good. Go. Read. Reflect. Research. It's good.

From What Is Your Life's Blueprint:

Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a highway, just be a trail. If you can't be a sun, be a star. For it isn't by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.

Thank you, Dr. King.

Thank you for fighting for humans.

Thank you for inspiring me to stand up for people and against injustice.

Thank you for your words.

Thank you for your fight.

As always, love fiercely and love boldly.

Hakuna Matata

I told my best friend and myself that I was not going to write about the election. But here I am, Election Day 2016, writing about the election. I've never really been that into politics. It wasn't really a topic at my house. My parents didn't tell us who they were voting for and I never usually even knew who was running. I liked it that way. Sometimes I get nostalgic and think about how much easier life was as a kid, with that Hakuna Matata mentality. I didn't have to worry about if I was voting for the right person, choosing the right health care or figuring out life after a heartbreaking breakups. All I had to worry about was what my Barbies were going to do after school and which book I was going to read next (this is still a daily struggle).

Election day seems like a good day to reflect on our country and our freedom. We live in a country where women are allowed to vote. I never want to take that for granted. I hold that right dear to my heart and even though I didn't like the two main options I am thankful also that we are not limited to two candidates. Is it likely that a third party candidate will be elected? No. But is it possible? Yes. As a woman living in America I will not skip out on an election just because I don't like two people because less than 100 years ago, I would have been considered ineligible.

My preschoolers and I talked about the election today and how wonderful it is that the election falls on the same week as Veterans Day. When I asked them what day it was, most of the answers were "Tuesday" "Thursday" or "Psalm 100:4" but a couple of them have been listening and one girl answered "the day we get a new president!" I know you all know this, but kids watch. As they watch, they learn. Is the behavior we have modeled for our kids during this election the behavior we want the future leaders of our country to exhibit? I guarantee that if I had young children right now, I would go out of my way to make sure that they didn't see the example that many have set. I would have made sure to keep the election talk at minimum while the kids were around and protect their precious ears from the malice and hate on both sides of the spectrum.

One of my strongest desires is to one day have a family and children of my own. I've thought a lot about their character, and the kind of children I want to raise. I want my children to be well rounded in their activities and interests. I never want to limit their minds. I never once want them to believe they can't do something. I never want to tell my child that their dream is too big or wrong. I want them to know that they are loved beyond all measure by me and by the God who created them.

Which is why, above everything else, I want my children to grow up knowing and trusting the Lord. I want His Spirit to fill them in all they say and do. Tomorrow I'm teaching at youth group. And not ironically, but because God works in amazing ways, part of what we will be doing is breaking down the Fruits of the Spirit, which happen to be the same character qualities I pray my children exhibit in their daily lives.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

As I pray these for my children, it looks like this:
Love: I pray they love others as Jesus loves them - wholly, without bounds, and that they love those who are deemed unlovable.
Joy: I pray that no matter what their lives bring, God's joy would overpower them through every trial.
Peace: I pray that they feel the peace that surpasses all understanding in every trial and in every high. I pray also that they become peacemakers and exhibit God's character through their lives.
Longsuffering: I hate praying for patience, because it means God is going to give us situations we will need to use it. But I pray that when those times come, my children remember their patient and loving Father and show the same grace to everyone who needs it.
Kindness: I pray my children are kind to everyone they meet, and never let differences divide them from loving and being kind.
Goodness: I pray my children choose to be good to glorify God, not themselves or even me as their mother.
Faithfulness: I pray my children are faithful to those they love, but mostly I pray they are faithful to the calling God has upon their lives.
Gentleness: I pray that my children would treat others with gentleness and be forgiving when it's so hard to forgive. I pray also they would remember that forgiveness is not diminishing the wrongdoing but taking power and control over it, and choosing to forgive as Christ forgave us.
Self-control: I pray for my children to have self-control when faced with anger, joy, sorrow and temptation.

Step back a minute and look at this list. Now think about this election season. How did we do?

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."

Love: Did you love everyone fiercely, even if they didn't agree with you?
Joy: When all is said and done, will you still have joy that you live in a free country where you have been given the right to vote? Even more, can you find joy in Christ, the Giver of joy?
Peace: Will you have peace if your candidate doesn't win? God gives us peace when things don't go our way because ultimately His plan is greater. Were you a peacemaker when the debates between friends got nasty?
Longsuffering: Were you patient when people said bad things about your candidate or did you lash out?
Kindness: Have you been kind in disagreement, or have you tried to prove you are right maliciously and without grace?
Goodness: Did you show the goodness of your heart or did evilness shine through?
Faithfulness: Did you vote true to your beliefs and were you faithful to your heart and what you believe about God in this election?
Gentleness: Were you gentle when others wouldn't relent?
Self-control: Did you have self-control when it came to the words you used against the candidates, their parties and their supporters?

No matter what the result of this election, I challenge and urge you to think about the character we want to model for our children. What kind of adults are we teaching them to be when we can't disagree peacefully? Ultimately, we are going to be ok. We can make it through the next four years. No matter what. But what we can't do in these next four years is show our children that it's ok to disagree maliciously, violently and hatefully. We can't show our children that the President determines the character in which we live our lives. But what we CAN do is unite. We can unite in purpose for a better America. We can unite in love for a more gracious America. We can unite in the way we stand up for people of all occupations, backgrounds, races, religions, sexual orientations, developmental abilities and physical abilities. We can give our children an idea of what it truly means to love people despite the differences.

It's so easy to turn to fear when we don't know what the future holds. But I am absolutely confident in my God's sovereign ability to reign over every aspect of our lives. Yes, even our country. Bad leaders are not foreign to Him. I am absolutely confident that whoever will be leading this country for the next four years is not greater than our God. He has the ultimate power and He has a plan for His people. No matter who is elected President, when this is all over, Jesus will always be King. That's what I taught my kids today. I told them that we have the power to vote, and that we don't always win, but we really do win because we have Jesus. So hakuna matata. No more worrying about this. Let God be in control and reign. He is bigger and more powerful.

We ended our circle time by honoring our veterans and our freedom through singing God Bless the USA. I'm thankful to live in this country. I'm thankful for the power to vote. I'm thankful that I can share my heart without fear of being thrown in jail because I am a Christian. Most of all, I'm thankful for my freedom in Christ, that my identity is found and secure in Him, and that He holds my future.

"If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife
I'd thank my lucky stars to be livin' here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away

And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA"

Never stop praying for our nation, and for whoever the next POTUS is. Never stop showing grace, love and mercy to everyone. Walk in the Spirit live in the Spirit, and let those fruits shine in your life.

"And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another." Galatians 5:24-26

Perfect Imperfections

Things don't always go exactly as we had them perfectly planned. We can be really good at planning things down to the minute, have everything set up and ready to go, when the unexpected throws us off guard.

My step sister got married almost a week ago. As we all know, there is never any stress involved with planning or executing plans in weddings. Weddings never have hiccups or any sort of trials to overcome. There is never family drama of any kind or the need to make sudden, unexpected changes. In fact, all weddings are completely, perfectly, 100% planned by a month before the date and all that needs to be done is the marrying part. Right. Maybe in the dream utopian world we would all like to believe existed.

Allyce and Travis' day was, however, nearly perfect. There was a slight late start on some of the plans, we almost hit a deer getting the bride to the church, but it was beautiful. It was a perfect, warm and sunny day, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves immensely.

As with any perfect wedding, there were some imperfections. Imperfections that just make the wedding that much more perfect and wonderful. While red velvet cupcake being splattered everywhere after the bouquet toss is a memorable, good and hilarious moment, the most notable moment of the entire day happened before the wedding even began.

My sweet, adorable, threenage nephew was the ring bearer. Poor kid may have been experiencing a slight cold to contribute to his threenage stage. It was almost "go" time. I was sitting with my brother, sister-in-law, and two older nephews waiting for this lovely ceremony to start. The rings had been tied to the pillow. The piano music was lovely as we waited patiently for the procession to begin. People started looking out the window of the little church and the next thing I know, my sister-in-law said to me, "They're looking for the ring." Instant panic. I ran out to help them search in the yard (as did a few other kind guests). It was the hardest Easter egg hunt ever. Ten minutes went by. No rings. Fifteen. Still no rings. My sister (his mom) and I checked the kid's pockets, took off his pants and checked inside his shoes. Nowhere to be found. After about twenty minutes of zero luck, the wedding went on using a borrowed ring, and with hope of finding it after the wedding.

A goat was exchanged, as well as the vows. There was a kiss and once again we were out the door to resume hunting. It took raking, and the lifting of the wooden ramp into the church for my other sister to find the rings. Exceeding anyone's expectations, they were found in the band of Curto's diaper. In those stressful minutes, all anyone could think about was finding the rings. After it was over, we laughed about it. Here's the thing: if the rings hadn't gone missing, Travis' grandparents would have missed the ceremony. We also wouldn't have this amazing story to tell at Curtis' future wedding.

Unexpected things happen in our lives all the time. Cars crash, grandparents get sick, friendships break apart. And through it all, God is good. God is at the center, in the midst of it all. He is directing us, if we listen. He is comforting us, if we allow Him. He wants to remind us that it's going to be ok if we allow Him to be the center of our lives. Because He works all things for the good of those who love Him. That doesn't mean it's always going to be easy. In fact, sometimes, instead of rings ending up in the band of a diaper, they could end up in the middle of the poopiness (I'm not sure if that is a word, but for all intents and purposes it is now). But when our lives are in the center of the poopiness, we can't forget that God is right there with us. He has a plan for us. He is making a way for us. He knows what is going to happen before it happens. Long before Zaccheaus couldn't see Jesus, God put that tree there. He knows our need. He puts people in our lives to meet our need. When our eyes and hearts are open to seeing Jesus, we need to be willing to climb the tree.

I've always struggled with trying to please everyone and ultimately trying to please myself by being perfect. It's taken a lot for me to realize that I don't have to please everyone. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. All that matters is that I am living my life to please the God I was created to serve and to love. I've also realized that I'm not perfect, and that I will never be perfect. But in my imperfections, there is perfection. Proverbs 31 has this beautiful imagery of the woman I desire to be.

Who[a] can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

So when life hits me unexpectedly, instead of panic mode, I will clothe myself in strength and dignity. I will laugh without fear of the future, because I know that my God is in my midst. My God is mighty. My God is powerful. And my God loves me more than I could ever imagine. Be brave. Expect the unexpected. And allow the perfect imperfections to bring you strength and joy.

Enough Is Enough

Unthinkable. Senseless. Sickening. Inconceivable. No matter what adjective you choose to use, there is heartbreak in the world every single day, and a whole lot of hatred. I've seen it too much this week to be silent. Because I'm done. I'm done with the violence. I'm done with the hate. I'm done with the response when any sort of hatred is executed. Too many times, people focus on the politics, the racism, the gun control, and the swimming times. It's legalistic. It's impersonal. We forget the victims. We forget the fact that these are or were real, live people with feelings and that they have families with feelings too. We forget that at the end of the day, love is the most powerful tool and weapon we have. Love has the power to heal the broken hearts. Love has the power to unite. Love has the power to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. Love has the power to change hearts. Love has the power to help the grieving. Love has the power to bring peace. And boy do we need peace. Love has the power to see hearts despite religion, color and sexual orientation. Love has the power to wrap the hurt and broken into His arms and weep. Love has the power to bring life. Love has the power to bring hope. My God is this love, and He has equipped us with the tools to love people this way. But we aren't. We are choosing to be silent, or to focus on the wrong things. After the attack in Orlando, Jen Hatmaker posted this on Facebook:

We read about the mass shooting at the LGBT club in Orlando on the way to church. The ANC community cried and prayed and lamented and lit candles. I had to come home and take my contacts out. My black friends taught me something important, particularly after the mass shooting in Charleston at Emanuel AME Church, which was a targeted mass murder like this one aimed specifically at a people group: When people anywhere have been targeted and murdered that share something specific with you - race, sexual orientation, religion - it is not only terrorism against the victims but psychological terrorism against their people group. It shakes down your sense of security and safety, because truly, it could have been you, your brother, your best friend, your dad. It IS you, your brother, your best friend, your dad. What hurts one, hurts all. What my black friends taught me is that the ancillary offense, where grief is compounded and loneliness sets in, is when their friends and colleagues outside of their tribe say NOTHING. When their churches don't stop and grieve. When their coworkers are silent. When their neighbors look the other way because they aren't sure what to say, so they say nothing. Our gay friends and kids and church members and neighbors are particularly hurting and scared today. As are their mamas and daddies and sisters and children. This targeted hate and violence is not just shocking the Orlando community (and the rest of us), but specifically the LGBT community and everyone that loves them. Here is what we can do: Call your gay friend, neighbor, daughter, college roommate, son, coworker, church member, brother - call them voice to voice, or even better, face to face where you can put loving arms around them and say: "This was unspeakable. This was horrible. This was unconscionable. I see this evil and I condemn it fully. I will sit right here and grieve with you. We will not gloss this over or forget. You might feel unsafe or insecure or scared today, and I want you to know you are not alone. I love you and I stand by you." Don't say nothing. The way to battle this kind of evil is to overcome it with love according to Jesus who, by the way, would be smack in the middle of Orlando if he was still walking around down here, attending to wounds and souls and beloved hearts. Put your arms around your gay friends and family members and speak love and solidarity and presence and hope into their lives. God in heaven, be near.

Guess what, y'all, not only would Jesus be smack in the middle of Orlando attending to wounds and souls and beloved hearts, but He would expect us to be doing the same. He would be weeping with the families of those who lost their loved ones. His heart would hurt for every single person affected by this heinous act of terror. Jesus wouldn't care if they were a part of the LGBT community. He doesn't say to us: "Love your neighbor as yourself...as long as they are Republican, as long as they are straight, as long as they are white, as long as they go to church every single Sunday and Wednesday." No. As Christians, "Little Christs", we are called to love all people, regardless of what they believe, what they stand for, and who they are. We are called to stand beside them in their pain and in their grief and weep with them. The hardest part of all of this is that we are also called to pray for those who persecute us. That means the bullies that persecute us in our schools, the rapists who happen to be really good swimmers, the people like Kevin Loibl who might have targeted Christina Grimmie because she was a Christian, and the people who persecute and target our country as a whole. Our instant response is hatred. Our instant response is to target and call out specific groups of people, to point fingers, and place blame. As much as you don't want to hear it and as much as I don't want to hear it, we are all bad. We all deserve hell. We all sin, and every sin creates a chasm between us and God. We fall short. Some people just choose to express their badness in worse ways. They choose to act in a larger scale than you and I. As much as you and I also don't want to hear this, God desires that ALL of the people He created choose Him. He sees our sin, but still loves us and wants us to come to Him. All of us. God can change hearts and bring unexpected people to Him. By refusing to pray for those who persecute us, we are no longer little Christs, but we are little Jonahs. We don't pray for them because of our hate, because we have been persecuted, because they are wicked, and ultimately because we know God can change their hearts if they turn to Him. Here's the bottom line: we live in a terribly broken and fallen world. We live in a time where there is more hate than there is love. We live in a time where political correctness has taken over and anyone can go and buy guns, even if they are on the FBI watchlist, because we are afraid to offend. There is racism all around us. I hate it. There are anti-gay protests everywhere. I hate them. There is sexual assault happening daily and people are getting just a slap on the wrist, while the victims live for the rest of their lives in fear, and with the pain of being attacked. I hate that. Please, for the love, don't worry so much about the lifestyle that other people live. You make your own choices on how you live and how you follow God. What we all need to work on is love. Let them know us by our love. Next time there is an act of terrorism or an act of violence clearly targeting a specific group, let them run to us as little Christs because we love like Him. He would be the first one by the side of those in grief and in pain. He would also be turning over tables on all of us who are choosing to keep the focus on the wrong things. John Piper says, "When we are done trying to establish, 'Is this my neighbor?' — the decisive issue of love remains: What kind of person am I?" Be the kind of person who loves endlessly, despite differences. Be the kind of person who grieves with those who are grieving. Be the kind of person people run to when they are under attack. Love. Show people what love really means. Bring love, solidarity, presence and hope. "This was unspeakable. This was horrible. This was unconscionable. I see this evil and I condemn it fully. I will sit right here and grieve with you. We will not gloss this over or forget. You might feel unsafe or insecure or scared today, and I want you to know you are not alone. I love you and I stand by you." And for the love, DO NOT BE SILENT. Love is not silent. Love shouts. Love has no bounds. Love pushes past borders and jumps right in. 1 John 4:18 tells us love has no fear. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." Love is action. Be that love.